Baby Day & the beginning....

Camden Eli, born at 7:28 am on April 27th, weighing 7lbs and measuring 20 inches long:

Disclaimer: Most of the pictures of just Camden, after he was cleaned up, are blurry and weren't any good. So you get more pictures of me (even though I'm ugly) because hey, this was an incredible day and completely worth remembering. Besides, I'm sure if I looked beautiful in any of these pictures, hordes of women would inundate me with quite-deserved hate mail. :)

He has some seriously long toes and a pair of scrawny legs with cute knobby knees. His hair is more like peach fuzz, but it's kind of a honey blond color. His arms seem incredibly long. People say he looks like me - poor boy! I think he has kind of a beaky mouth and a really cute nose. He has a tiny little birthmark just under his bum. And the poor boy has a nice case of newborn rash. I guess he does want to be just like his mom!

So....... We made it to Baby Day!! I didn't really get much sleep the night before. Can't imagine why! But we had to be at the hospital awfully early Tuesday morning. This is me and our doctor just before the C-section.

I lose the big lump shortly after this (my belly, not the doctor!). Our doctor asked if he could pray with us before the procedure and he offered the nicest, most sincere prayer- that God would be with him as he performed the surgery and be with us and with our boy and that we would be great parents and raise up our son to know the Lord. It was really meaningful to me.

And I know he wasn't the only one to pray for us. I can tell you I really felt those prayers were answered -- Baby Day was only a little scary and I really was so blessed!

I only cried a little bit. Okay, I cried a lot. But mostly while they were doing the spinal block and after - because I felt so sick and I was dry heaving on the surgical table and feeling quite miserable. It was such a relief and happiness when they let Dan come join me (after I stopped gagging and everything was all prepped). Here I am at that point:

Dan was absolutely amazing and supportive and great. He was even brave enough to peek over the screen to see what was going on. He said he thought it would be reassuring to me, if he could do it without his eyes popping out or flinching. So he put on his "therapist face" and peered over. He was right. I thought it must not be too bad - he didn't even blanch.

The doctor did hold our son up above the screen, just after he came out, so I could see him. Even though the baby was in fact, kind of gross - being all white and a little bloody - I was amazed to see what our little boy looked like. He was not very happy to be pulled out of his cozy home and rubbed clean. Dan went with the nurses to the corner while they did their cleaning and measuring. I could hear our boy crying most of the time. This is Dan, carrying our son and showing him to me:

I was only able to see him for a few minutes and then Dan carried our boy to the nursery for the real clean-up and other baby prep. I'm glad Dan was able to be there and take pictures of all that. The anesthesiologist was very kind and distracted me with conversation just about the time I was beginning to feel frightened about what all was going on, on the other side of the sheet again.

Our baby was born officially at 7:28 am and I was all sewed up and back in my room at 8am. I didn't get to see my boy again until shortly after 11am because his breathing was very fast. The pediatrician wanted him to remain in the nursery until he breathed slower than 60 breaths/minute for at least half an hour, just to be sure he was monitored and wasn't developing an infection or something. Since I'd never been separated from him for so long, I was beginning to REALLY want to hold him and see him. Just about the time they were considering letting me take a wheelchair over to the nursery, the nurse brought him in! Here we are, me holding Camden for the first time:

We decided on the name yesterday. I was too dopey and tired to make any kind of decision on Tuesday. I think Camden gets cuter every day. I like him more every time I see him! Here is a pic from yesterday (I'm still really tired!):

Endings and Beginnings

Tomorrow begins the end of life as I know it.

Tomorrow is my very last day of work at the best job I have ever had. Although I am so glad to be able to stay at home with our new son (who will shortly make his appearance!), it is sad to end this most agreeable chapter. I work for the best geologists ever! Casey and Darin have been absolutely fantastic and so easy to work for - they are very understanding, they think all the stuff I do is magic and that I am brilliant. They love it when I come up with ideas I think will be helpful. Casey especially likes to say, "I have an idea..... Here's what I want and I don't know how to do it, but I know you can figure it out." It has been really fun for me. Plus the company has been very kind to me and I have a pretty great setup. Okay, so it's still a cubicle, but I am really going to miss the dual ginormous monitors.

So I am kind of sad. It's a great job and great people and it's hard to continue work friendships once you aren't at work anymore. So all the big changes are beginning. It is the end of everything; it is the beginning of everything! The job will end. Me, as a working individual, who showers and puts on professional clothes every morning will end. Most of the ways I feel successful and important will end - cause it sure won't come from a job anymore! No more bonuses or appreciation lunches or afternoon ice cream thank-yous from my boss or emails expressing gratitude for my cleverness in doing something no one else does. I really am excited for my baby -- this just all makes for an awful lot of change at once! I would be a great deal more excited about the end of the alarm clock, but I haven't heard great things about the sleep patterns of brand-new moms.

And now for something completely different....

I also wanted to show what's in bloom right now in our yard! You can see spring is really here!

These are the azaleas in our front yard! We're hoping the mimosa tree isn't dead, but will shortly come to life. The crepe myrtle trees (close to the house) are beginning to leaf. You can't see them here, but there are peonies budding in the flower bed and the ants are working to make them blossom soon.

Here are our beautiful clematis and climbing rose bushes! I thought I had killed the clematis (on accident!). Did you know clematis grows off the dead parts from the year before? Yeah, well, I didn't!

I don't know what this bush is, but it grows REALLY fast and this is the only time of year that I love it. It's very pretty, with cascades of little pink blossoms down every branch.

A little Whine

According to our Baby Day countdown, we have exactly 9 days, 17 hours, and 5 minutes until the ejection of our son by C-section. Whenever people ask how much longer until I am due, they seem to think I should be delighted at how soon it is and then they say something really dumb like "Enjoy these last few weeks of non-responsibility!" Or "Enjoy the rest you're getting now!" Isn't that like telling a hormonal prepubescent to enjoy middle school? And just as realistic?! Silly idiots.

Life as I know it is about to change completely, drastically, and abruptly in 9 days. All the things I have been hearing about for the last 10 years in Relief Society and from friends and family about having children - I am finally going to experience for myself! So I wish people would stop telling me how hard it is to have kids- how pukey or colicky or poopy or exhausting they are. It's a little late to get out of things now!! (and I wouldn't even if I could) Besides, I used to tell myself those same things all the time in an effort to quell my desire for children - it never really worked. Now is the time for people to offer up the encouragement and desirability of children. You know, like all those Relief Society lessons about how children are your greatest joy. Yeah, why not tell me that now?! Or is that truth just reserved as an emotional bullet to whip out right after a miscarriage or a failed medical intervention to get pregnant?!

But I have enjoyed some fun firsts. I know - most of these won't be enjoyable after a while, but it means a lot to me now. I folded and put away baby clothes - for MY OWN CHILD. It was very weird, but really exciting! We decided on a bring-the-baby-home outfit. We have our baby room all set up! (Which is kind of funny because I'm pretty sure the plan is for our boy to sleep in our room with the bassinet at first.) I picked a pediatrician - which I almost forgot to do! We have our carseat.

As far as I can tell, I think we have everything ready for our kid. Except maybe mental fortitude and emotional strength. But I don't think pregnancy hormones and the shortage of sleep are really going to help with that. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm enjoying this! I love my stupid PUPPP rash where it is impossible to satisfy the itch. And I love being enormous and waddling. And the impossibility of having enough continuous sleep. And heartburn and urps and spending half my workday trekking to the bathroom. It's wonderful. I wonder that I should at all anticipate the end. I think I'm going to go appreciate my pregnancy with a bowl of ice cream.

Baby Shower

It's the oddest thing, but I was actually excited about a baby shower! I did feel a little guilty about this, since I am not sure I have EVER been excited about anyone else's baby shower. Perhaps that is because I stressed about picking the right present. Or maybe because after a while I had to admit to myself that my turn might not ever come. But it did come! And it's so enjoyable and amazing to have all these friends be excited and happy for us too. Everyone wrote such kind things in their cards and gave us such cute stuff! But it was kind of uncomfortable being the only one with presents.

I look really doofy in these pictures, but this is just to show you how generous and kind everyone was! Such a pile of loot! Our baby is so loved! Or maybe they are trying to offset the inevitable trauma our boy will suffer for having us as parents. By the way, I am holding a Winnie the Pooh memory book. I was just told to look up and smile. Geeky came without instruction.

This is to show the tasty snacks my amazing hostess friends provided. Jill offered her house (and the chocolate!); Mollie contributed sandwiches and fruit and veggies and cake; and Mary helped with invitations and food stuff too. They even constructed this diaper tower and arranged all these cute one-sies around it!






This is the final stack of loot, with the masses of tissue paper next to it. Lots of people made burp cloths (which I am SURE we will need all of them) or other cute things. Kali made a nifty diaper & wipe holder thing to go inside a diaper bag. And we received a good start of adorable clothes - probably the only chance our boy has of being a classy dress-er.